Breakups...

Every now and then, bros everywhere make the biggest mistake they could ever make.

COMMITMENT! DATING!! RELATIONSHIPS!!!

We all know that relationships are easy to get into and for quite some time they can appear to be fun or enjoyable…. They aren’t. The reason many bros start seemingly enjoying a relationship is because they are afflicted with the brainwashing, mind-boggling disease, Haven’t-been-laid-in-a-while Blindness. No one wants this. It’s horrible and can result in lack-of-style syndrome, sleep deprivation and has even been known to produce Feelings. Yuck! Do you see it now? It’s destroying our great planet. It’s Brobal Warming and the only way to stop it is to end relationships before it’s too late. If you do not end it quick enough, the chick will and in return will receive more extensive damage, A Bro-ken Heart.

To help you, to help bros the world over, I have devised a list of ways to end relationships with a chick in 7 words or less:

Ways to end Relationships with a chick in 7 words or less…

1. Maybe try a side salad instead

2. I threw out all your shoes

3. Yes, your ass looks big in that

4. Your sister let me do that

5. Cute, your growing a moustache too

6. She looks like a hotter you

7. Wow, you were an ugly child

8. Halloween’s over, take off the mask

9. We didn’t have sex without a condom? (gesture at her stomach)

10. Monogamy? What’s that? Is it a Movie?!

Now upon breaking up, you may feel one of two things…

Either a sudden relief of stress and feelings of Happiness and Hope…OR… A sudden realisation that you have made a mistake as well as feelings of unhappiness and doubt. In either case you will need a way to get back on your feet. You know what they say… There are plenty of chicks in the ocean and now that you are single, you can take your pick. Choose a lure and cast out. Check out some of my personal favourite lures (pick-up lines for non-bros) in the next Article.